"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
