Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize