At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
