Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
