I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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