After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
