On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Be still, my beating vagina.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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