I forgot how hot balto sounded
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
