You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
