I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Randomize
