There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
