i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
