Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
