also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
