best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize