It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
