Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
