Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
