this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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