You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
