If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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