The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize