Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize