so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
