Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
how drunk are you?
Several
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
