I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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