i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
