honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
