I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize