I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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