Me too!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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