She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
