She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
