Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Semen is not good for contacts.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize