The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
