Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Randomize
