I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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