took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
pop tarts are not kleenex
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
