All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize