Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
