so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
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