The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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