walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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