I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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