Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
