If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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