Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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