So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
