New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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