Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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