when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
