Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
