She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
