I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
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I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
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All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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