I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
