I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
