Christians are straight up FREAKS
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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