Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Dicks are not precious.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
