I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
