It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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