I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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