i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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