trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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