Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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