At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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