You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
