I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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